


It's Alright

by Hyl_Is_Tired_Af



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Both of them use they/them pronouns cause I'm nonbinary and i want to, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Other, Post-Canon, Song fic, armagedidn't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-03 11:59:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19463533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyl_Is_Tired_Af/pseuds/Hyl_Is_Tired_Af
Summary: Crowley has a diary where they vent and let all their feelings out. After a specially bad day, they found out a little supporting messsage from an unknown writer.





	It's Alright

#### Hey Diary,

I’ve had a night, I’ve had a day. I’m sure you already knew that though. Ever since the Angel gifted me with this blank book I’ve been writing all my nonsense here. I believe humans nowadays call this venting. As always book, I’m sorry to be using just to… Fuck, I don’t even know if there’s a purpose. 

But whatever, I should get to the point. Remember M-25? Of course you do, that was like, the devilish thing done in the 70s. You may also recall the Armageddon, the end of the world as we know it, blah blah blah… Well, when both of those things mix up, weird shit happens. I had to go through the road— And hell knows it was awful. Not only because you couldn’t freaking move (something not unusual there), but because every single human was cursed. They started chanting to the beast. They… They lost their humanity for hours. I truly hope there are not consequences for them. Because it was my fault. I’ve done a billion stupid things throughout the years. I’ve said one million foolish things too. But, for what? For a couple praises in hell? Wasn’t worth it. At all. I mean, look where I am right now. They’ve tried to kill me.

Aziraphale narrated everything in great detail. It didn’t sound as bad as I imagined though. I mean, yeah, I would’ve totally died, but they could’ve been way more sadistic. I’m glad they weren’t, if anything would’ve happened to them I would have killed every single soul in Heaven and Hell. As a celebration, I would have had a toast with myself and a glass of Holy Water.

Damn, I’m totally not okay. I’ve been having nightmares since Sunday. All of them irrational, obviously, they are way too scared of us to attack. At least for a while, maybe in a couple of years they’ll come for us once again. Who knows. My mind strongly believes that they’re coming at any minute. That’s one of the reasons I have a baseball bat beside my bed. My subconscious has decided that it helps me to fight off them. It truly doesn’t, but it helps me to cope somehow. Not the best way, I’m not going to lie. That one will always be by being with them.

But that increases the loneliness and pain. I haven’t talked with anyone about this though. I don’t want to bother the Angel with all this nonsense. They’re doing good by the way. They seem… More relaxed. Since we dumped heaven and hell they’ve released all their pain. Wish I could say the same about me but… Well, I don't know how I am. We’ve been talking more lately though. The fact that no one’s going to bother us is sweet, we don’t have to use secret codes for our meetings anymore. That’s helping them with their confident; they are even more loose. For the first time ever, they’re close with me without feeling guilty. It’s… It’s very nice.

Or it would be, because, unfortunately, I am way too centered in myself to think straight. I mean, of course I’m grateful that they aren’t ashamed of me anymore, it’s a big relief. But my selfish ass wants even more. Fuck, I hate this human emotions a lot. I’ve been repressing them since forever. But no, they have to be all loud and strong now that we are stable. It’s like I’m aiming for things I can’t be having. Because right now, if Aziraphale dumps me, I’d have nothing. I would also be broken as fuck, and ashamed, of my stupidity but that’s not so important.

I'm going to stop this rambling for today. My head's a little bit dizzy, I'm still not used to so many letters together. We’ll see each other tomorrow, I suppose . Hang in there.  
Write you later?

#### My dearest Crowley

_It is I, your beloved diary. All your sorrow and despair have made me feel things, even though I am just a regular book. I just wanted to tell you that everything is alright. It's okay to have doubts; you and your mate have suffered a lot through the centuries, and once you are able to relax questions will invade you. After all, you have become human. And I don't mean it as something negative, on the contrary! You, from all living things, understand the wonders of humanity. It's alright to have those feeling, because you have become a human. You are not a monster, nor a demon. And do you know something that's very human? Mistakes. Failing. They find wisdom and knowledge from them, and I find that wholesome. You don’t have to punish yourself for the few mistakes you’ve made._

_Varying a little bit the topic, you are not alone either. That Aziraphale may have been a little bit reserved about their feeling because of the circumstances. Nevertheless, I'm sure they'll be eager to listen to you and share your worries with them. You should both talk to each other though, it seems like you have issues to discuss. Maybe defying some aspects of your partnership? Who knows. You have a lot of days ahead. Maybe today is not the day, but I’m sure you’ll see a better one._

_I have to go (to attend my book matters), but remember my words. It’s alright, it’s okay. You’re not a monster, just a human, and you have made a few mistakes._  
_Best wishes,  
~~A.~~ Your diary_

**Author's Note:**

> Hey y'all! Hope you've like this weird diary-ish thing I've pulled off. The idea of this fic wasn't mine tho, I saw a post on tumblr from @shego1142 (https://shego1142.tumblr.com/post/185540383554/while-were-on-the-topic-of-songs-that-fit-good) that fused Crowley and its alright, from mother mother. You should totally listen to them.  
> Crowley tried to answer Aziraphale, but they were way too soft for doing it.  
> During summer I'm going to be a little bit active in here, so give me a shot ;)


End file.
